i tell you, this cracks me up everytime i see it. weiren really looks disturbed.

well. the fashionista & me. or rather, the husband & the muse.


we look very happy dont we =)

the way i gush about Taboo is VERY similar to my mum's incessant...adoration of MENG. i swear my mum loves him. I SWEAR.
"wah meng u very tall ahhh"
"wah meng ur built very nice ahhh"
"wah meng u got good fashion sense ahhh"
"wah meng you do for her until very nice ahhh"
"wah meng you know how to dye hair ahhh"
"wah meng you also very knowledgeable about health care and skin products ahhh"
"meng take good care of lena horrr"

haiyo still got a lot more la cant recall EVERYTHING now. but thats the rough idea. she adores him. she simply ADORES him. its a GOOD THING!

but the whole ribbon around my waist thing was conjured up by my mum and him. he was twirling that frivolous ribbon around (quoted from simon) , wonderin whether he should put it around my neck or boobs (NAH JK LA) or tie it on my hair.

he then pulled it around my freakin BIG waist and tied a ribbon. AND TADAH!

que : more of mum's praising and fawning over his impeccable dress sense.

and i thought my black blouse was...complicated enough. it apparently wasn't. pair that with dangling blue earrings, a ring, BILLOWING HAIR, a sleek black blouse, a FRIVOLOUS ribbon around my waist, a pair of omg-my-feet-hurt-like-shit dunno-how-high- wedges with FRIVOLOUS ribbons around my ankles.
and i really must follow Meng's advice about getting a chunky belt. helps in bringing out whatever waist i have left.

halloween halloween halloween.

we were expectedly late la, obviously, i felt like a mannequin with 2 pairs of eagle eyes making sure i didn't look UNGLAM or anything like that. weiren and simon were dressed very nicely too leh. i like weiren's stripey tank top, and.....simon's long sleeved abercrombie shirt. which hid a skimpy SPAGHETTI TOP within. meng prefers to call it underwear, while i stick to calling it a spag. afterall, to me it IS LA. and meng was lookin very chic in BLACK. very very nice.

haiyo addie would have been PROUD of me. it was a far cry from that baby-blue halter the previous week (apparently addie said it looked lesbian-ish). oh talking about addie, he was decked in in..his halloween....best. his hair ah..wah really i have no words to describe it. and some ppl were very enthusiastic about the whole costume thing. there was this...person with red circles as flowers on the top of his head, he actually won the freaking competition la. he beat the sailors and schoolboys HANDS DOWN. haiyo but i didnt see his face. some had on atrocious masks la. and many trannys were prancing around with their caked-on makeup. it made xiaxue look extremely tame.

there were guys in hot pants, guys in cowboy suits, guys in RED SHORTS AND SINGLETS, guys with angel wings, guys with little horns on that head, guys with pitchforks, and guys...as geishas. it was amazing la really.

lena has renounced that she is definitely staying off straight clubs.

the ppl there are..really damn nice leh. they apologise when they step on you, and they can strike up conversations just like that. very courteous, very welcoming. i was overwhelmed actually. i stepped on this guy's foot la, poor thing. (imagine, i was wearing WEDGES) he was smiling and said nono its alright really then we just talked la. he had on a nice beret, and he was quite cute. we all agreed on that. HAHA. but we're in TABOO. so there. haiyo SO NICE LA. met some of weiren's friends. who were extremely welcoming and affectionate. and one of them had an artificial arm which he was using to do FUNNY THINGS. im leaving it to all of ur imaginations. LOL it was damn funny when he was scratchin weiren's back with it. HAIYO. oh,

and those are pictures which we snapped at MOX. i like MOX a lot. the ambience is fantastic!
the poor waiter was quite stunned to see 2 sets of plastic fangs on the bottle.
but e fangs were REALLY uncomfortable LA. i tried meng's at my mum's place, OMG i couldnt TALK and it was SUPER DAMN uncomfortable. LOL.

oh and then there was...PETER who went up to weiren and asked for a light. HAIYO.
american STUD. very very nice features.
and weiren was telling me that i should GO STRAIGHT CLUBS. you should see my reaction after that. priceless. i was like OMG NO THANKS PLS. he said i should go with him one day, and he will act as my bodyguard. just flex his muscles or smth can already la that gym rat.

talking about straight, there are a few..quotes from that night which had that WORD.

(i was elaborating to weiren and simon on how much my mum fawned over meng)
me: my gdness my mum was like wah MENG AH ur FASHION sense very good ah!
meng: sorry ah aunty if i were straight i would have married ur daughter long ago lor

weiren: I FEEL SO STRAIGHT! (after that i just started laughing like siao)

me: SIMON i like ur long sleeved shirt. very nice. and you look awfully straight.

im still very fascinated by all the costumes. i should have worn my "horny" hairband that someone (i forgot who LOL) got for me for Vday ages ago la. if only halloween was much more celebrated here. i would like to go TRICK OR TREAT! =)
lol. and yes we went upstairs and started prancing and preening in front of the freaking mirror. we did spastic poses, and weiren's fren, howie, asked whether i was LES.
i went NAH, and meng was like NO LA SHE'S MY STRAIGHT GIRLFRIEND.
lol and howie was encouraging me to carry along the straight route. damn funny la.

go to simon's blog for...funny details, especially about the whore who accidentally burnt him with her cig.

OH yes and i had dinner with the squashers before that at Kian Seng restaurant, behind YCK courts. so convenient, and no need to QUEUE up! the food was alright, ate there quite a few times already. it was damn funny la. all the super tork cork conversations. and vivian our coach joined us too!

it was so lovely la, i slacked at my mum's place for the whole of sunday! watched tv, pigged out on DIGESTIVES, and drank tons of MILK.

and my legs and back are aching. training then taboo. tsktsk. when will i ever learn.

it got my mind off everything though. but even if i was slacking my life away, he didnt come to mind as frequently as he used to.
as kelly clarkson would singggg "out of sight, out of mind"

i've not fully recovered from that...singing/screeching session at kbox last week with all the SAMAZOZIS.
it was a good mix of chinese and english songs, and A LOT OF CRAZINESS.
we had dinner at some hong kong restaurant before that, and it was not too bad, there was so much CHEESE LA.
weiren and i are CHEESE lovers.
we didn't know whether to catch a movie or to sing our lungs out at kbox, and we decided on the latter.
i swear only simon's and jon's voice was working properly. meng wr & i were terribly hoarse.
we sang some sandy lam, some..jay chou (IT WAS THE DUET WITH LARA OK) and a lot of...english songs with pirated MTVS. oh, some britney and bsb too. reliving all the boyband madness.
kylie minogue made us jump up and down!
i was dying during shan hu hai and wu ding, i could barely READ the chinese words. here and there la, not that bad. but it was REALLY FUN. yay!
meng & i headed back to my mum's place after that, and while waiting for me to shower(EH IT WASNT THAT LONG OK) meng freaking fell asleep. sprawled on his bed like nobody's business. yea its nobody's business. i tried TO PROD HIM AWAKE, but to no avail. indeed what wr said was true. he told me not to waste any effort trying. lol.
but interestingly, meng woke up at 5am by himself.
he actually named one of my mum's hamsters after ZHU WEIREN.
my goodness. just go to his blog and u'll see how similar both of them are.

anyway, my sis n i went mad yesterday.
bought TONS of winter clothing from jurong point yesterday.
i'm not even THAT excited about my trip though. it's like a month plus away.
she had this Accessorize woollen hat which she didn't wear on her trip to turkey.
aiyo but its damn nice la.
i bought a pair of..wedges too. quite a steal in fact. last pair and it was my FREAKIN SIZE!

i'm quite..clear-headed now. after reading it i just....cried. and freakin cried la.
but thanks sean, for listening, although i didn't make much sense. thanks for always listening.
but i feel much much much better now. bcos...its HALLOWEEN NIGHT AT TABOO!
damn excited can. i've never attended such stuff before. the last time we went was handbag music night, so it was full of thrashy music. and there were.....alot of moobs. i'm leaving it at that.

sean called me while having his CHOCOLATE BUFFET. i wanted to strangle him. honestly.
i appreciate the concern. and the stitch work he did for my birthday. i have not gotten to framing it up though.

and i MUST REMEMBER to purchase A THOUSAND DIFFERENT WAYS NEXT WEEK!

thank you for telling me. :)
and no, i don't hate you.

that last lingering beacon of hope which paved the way for me through these...10 months.
its gone.
i've always thought of myself being very mentally strong, although not so much physically but i was strong up there.
and i told xuan that yes i am over him. what a stupid lie. i lied without knowing i lied.
i said things without understanding myself. without knowing what i really really felt deep down inside.
some things although i actually know the truth, i try not to believe it. or rather, i dont want to.
its called self-denial honey. it keeps me going. keeps me going through my recent brighter days. keeps me going when the world seems to crumble down all around me.
and now, i know its true. its staring at me right in the face.

he's in love with someone else.

i don't blame him for being cruel to be kind, cos i know i rather hurt now than later.
i rather not hurt at all actually.

the very one time i had faith in someone, or in both of us, i don't know what to make of it all now.
its hard to find decent ppl nowadays, who aren't superficial, who arent materialistic, and who looks at inner beauty.

i'm fabulously single. fabulously. and i love Taboo.

but its alright. singlehood indeed has its perks. i sound really sour about it, but i'm not. at least i don't think so.

but shit, being broke doesn go well with being single.

friends do not put you down just because they do not agree with you.
all of you have no idea how much it means to me to hear that getting therapy/counselling is alright. ever since fabius called me cuckoo, i've been hesitant in telling ppl about it. i don't want ppl to think that i'm so and so. the certain stigma.
and i'm very grateful for all of your reassurances during dinner the other day. the fact that when simon said it out, it was met with protests about these kind of remarks, not only to me, but to anyone who is undergoing such stuff. i realised that maybe that 7 yr friendship didn't mean so much to fab as it did to me. and it wasn't just one moment of insensitivity either.
i've had it. its done and over with. nothing he says can take back his words. not even sorry.

hah. i'm such an unforgiving bitch huh.

Bailey: You know as well as I do it's not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. It's about having people in your life that you love and who love you...that's all that matters.

i've been pretty damn sick for the past few days.
what with fluctuating fever, bloody bad headaches, and a pain-in-the-ass cough.
i've been woken up by my own atrocious coughing in the middle of the night so often la. and its DAMN irritating.

Meng said the other day to me, "its time to move on lena"
and i told him, YES i know, tell me about it.
but its like i need to meet that particular person who can give me the same damn feeling he did.
and i have yet to do so.
and no, i'm not the sort who compares and all that, but if no chemistry, cannot force rite.
he's putting up at my mum's place, and he's done moving and sorting out his stuff already.

i headed to clementi's polyclinic with my mum yesterday, and the queue seriously finished me off. it took 2 whole hours to get everything done and over with.
and my doctor didnt believe me when i said paracetemol doesn't work for me. he insisted that it would do the job better than nurofen, which i was currently taking. he said nurofen causes gastric, which i have yet to experience, and that its too strong.
and guess what, i woke up today with an even higher fever than yesterday. sheesh.
and to cap it all off, i took so many naps throughout the course of the day because my cough medicine makes me EXTREMELY drowsy.

i'm thankful i grew up with open-minded parents.
obviously there have been a few hiccups here and there, but ultimately i have to learn how to take care of myself in the wild and crazy world we live in, and i HAVE to be street-smart.
but the prob is, i don't feel 20. i don't feel it weighing down on me just yet. that's not a prob to be honest, i just wonder whether it hasn't sunk in or that i'm too damn carefree to notice it.
and as the year draws to an end, its time for new resolutions (OBVIOUSLY i have never kept any of them, except the one to tidy my room and all that nonsense), i just make resolutions so as to....feel better. whats a new year without new resolutions?

i cant believe i'm growing up so quickly, honest to God.

and its time for us to fight for what we really really really want.
not in the..achievement sense, but in a way we must fight for what makes us happy, makes us want to go on living our life. and now that my age starts with a big 2, i must learn not to be pessimistic about life, considering that i can somehow obtain what i want.
not money LA, but freedom and many other things that can't be bought with cash.

i told simon yesterday what has happened in the last few weeks (or months) between my parents, and i very nearly teared up.
its scary how when i dont think about it, everything else seems so fine and dandy.
but when i do, i'll bring myself back to that emotional turmoil i was stuck in. and I CANNOT LET THAT HAPPEN. it'll take time, i'm sure, but soon it'll just be a very very bad memory.

all children somehow let their parents down in one way or another, but it goes the same for parents too.

"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair. "

- the 5 people you meet in heaven

surprisingly, my dear Meng didn't know i was FABULOUSLY single (as he puts it) til e few days ago. i was quite shocked actually.
but that's besides the point.

school (cue:yawn) has started yet again, and already on the 4th day, i've started my snoozefest during lectures. fang had to prod me in e ribs to get me to open my heavy-lidded eyes to take attendance. that girl's really a lifesaver. i don't know how i would get through poly life without her. and a few other jokers.

i've been sleeping very irregular hours for i dont know whatever stupid reason.
woke up at 5, tossed and turned, slept back and then woke up a few hours later, ensuring that i would definitely be late for school. moreover, i live in boon freakin lay.
but nvm, the dark rich chocolate aroma beats the distance any day. lovely.

i hate my workload this sem, there are so many projects and assignments being handed to us even at WEEK 0. and i missed school food. never knew the day would come when i would say that. i've ALWAYS complained about my school's food. ALWAYS.
and my goodness, i have 6 straight hours of unigraphic lessons (computer 3-D drawing) on tuesday, all the way from afternoon into e night. how depressing is that?

better not rant too much, cos i have it easy compared to other muggers burying their head in their books for their coming A levels.

Lover All Alone - Grey's Anatomy

this is absolutely beautiful. brought me to tears. and the song's written and sung by clay. =)

1. SINGLE or CRUSHING ??--> single

2. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOUR LIFE NOW ??--> yea,pretty much.

3. WHEN YOU MEET THE RIGHT PERSON, DO YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM FAST ??--> yes, if he seems right enough. that only happened once.

4. HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN ??--> yea, who hasn't? not only in the context of relationships, even ur closest friends and family members break ur heart too sometimes.

5. DO YOU BELIEVE THERE ARE SOME CIRCUMSTANCES WHERE CHEATING LOVE IS ACCEPTABLE ??--> No, not acceptable at all. demeaning. intolerable.

6. WOULD YOU TAKE BACK SOMEBODY WHO HAD CHEATED ON YOU ??--> i did. but depends on who la. if you can see him cheating on you again, slap him and kick him into the rain before its too late.

7. HAVE YOU TALKED ABOUT MARRIAGE WITH ANOTHER BEFORE ??--> yes.

8. DO YOU WANT CHILDREN ??--> yes. but through C-section. i don't have a high pain threshold, sadly.

9. HOW MANY ??--> 2 would be good.

10. WOULD YOU CONSIDER ADOPTION ??--> yea. no, not from Namibia.

11. IF SOMEONE REALLY LIKE YOU NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BEST WAY TO LET HIM/HER KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ??--> just say la, now what generation already!

12. DO YOU ENJOY GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS ??--> yea, honeymoon periods. love em or hate em.

13. HONEST, WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU AND YOUR EX DID ??--> kissing ppl of the same sex. kiddin. REALLY.

14. DO YOU BELIEVE LOVE IN YOUR FIRST SIGHT ??--> no.

15. ARE YOU ROMANTIC ??--> yea, i can be a hopeless romantic.

16. DO YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN CHANGE SOMEONE ??--> i wouldn't want ppl to change me, so naturally i cant expect ppl to change for me.

17. IF YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE MARRIED SOMEWHERE, WHERE WILL IT BE ??--> greece. my ultimate haven. my goodness to be surrounded by temples, and ruins would be nirvana la honestly.

18. DO YOU EASILY GIVE IN?--> yea, depends on who also la.

19. DO YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE NOW ??--> yea. for you and you and you and you and you and YOU!

20. HAVE YOU EVER WISHED YOU HAD SOMEONE, BUT MESSED IT ALL UP ??--> first part yes, 2nd part i dont know.

21. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A BROKEN HEART ??--> yea.

22. IF ONE DAY YOUR BEST FRIEND FALLS IN LOVE WITH THE GUY/GIRL THAT YOU LOVE DEEPLY, WHAT WILL YOU DO ??--> good game.

23. ARE YOU MISSING SOMEONE NOW ??--> no.


this is SERIOUSLY THE SIMPLEST AND MOST STRAIGHT FORWARD SURVEY.
haha. i was...quite lazy LA. =)

hmm been quite an eventful week, squashed at Signature Park on Fri, then went for a really late supper at Al Ameen with swong jj bryan becky onn.. seriously, it was.......interestingly sick. which im quite used to. reached home at 3am, yawn.

had fish and co with the guys the next day. service was pretty good that day though, sometimes it pretty much sucks. sheesh, i've got to catch that Jackie Chan show, stephen told me its HILARIOUS. headed down to Tanjong Pagar after that for some really gay FUN clubbing.

Taboo. in one word, it was just...AWESOME.

Taboo is this really hip gay club in Tanjong Pagar. When i say hip, i really mean HIP. the queue was quite..atrocious, but wei ren got us vip entry.
eh but seriously, there wasnt any huge sign showing the club's name or anything outside. it was.. SO PLAIN. but inside was pretty amazing.
and it was a huge eye-opener for me.

music was crap basically, although they told me its usually not like that on Sat nights. think it was a female DJ or smth. but the company was awesome.
Luke brought his fren Jon along, so it was...5 of us heating up the dance floor basically.
it was a sea of sweaty bodies inside and it was really PACKED when we got in.
the guys at the entry and the bartenders were quite hot and they were straight. which was...like drool haven for me. they were really nice when i was restin my wary feet and sippin my drink at the bar, talked to me about whether i enjoyed myself so on and so forth.
there were barely 5 girls in the whole club haha.
i swear i have not had so much fun in a LONG TIME.
it was wilder than Newsroom, which i went a YEAR ago, and basically that was underage haven anyway. but to me, Taboo wasn't sleazy, although Simon begs to differ.
and when ppl actually step on my toes accidentally, they turn and say sorry profusely and SMILE. i dont see that happening anytime soon in zouk or mos though.

luke simon wei ren jon and i were like the craziest bunch there i swear. I SWEAR.
it was... pure unadulterated FUN.
i felt so..uninhibited. liberated.
and there was once when we made a circle and started swaying and all that. and e33 with syrup was quite gosu.
i really had the time of my life. it was just fun really. i didnt have to be guarded or wary, or cautious about ppl groping around. so obviously with all that out of the way, i let my hair down. which i dont regret one bit.
Simon smsed me this the next morning, which made me laugh. seriously.
"Haha you should have seen you 3 yesterday. My goodness."
you 3 as in, Luke Jon & I. WE WENT CRAZY LA. straight clubs dont let me have this much fun bcos well, some guys can really be irritating. besides the one who groped Vickram's ass. =)

ppl thought i was some crazy-ass bitch la. HAHA. which was the whole point of going.
wei ren and luke asked whether i was enjoying myself, which i OBVIOUSLY WAS.
and they were really nice, made sure i didnt get lost in the crowd and all that.
and..SIMON was quite a goner after a few drinks. as he says on his blog, he's cheap. and he accelerates really quickly. his entry on Taboo was hilarious!
We were at MOX while waitin for WR, which had excellent ambience because it was a no-smoking place, which had a lot of plus points in my book. Simon totally went SATC (sex and the city) and indulged in a cosmopolitan, although the drinks took quite long to be served.
we didnt need to shout while chatting, which was very very good. i hate screaming in these kinda places.

it was really lovely la, company and all.
didn't expect myself to have so much fun, truth be told. haha we talked about Will & Grace, like how Megan Mullaly prefers to call it Jack & Karen, and how she ALWAYS talks about her own boobs being bigger than Debra Messing. it was really funny.
So we sat around outside Taboo after a long night, to rest our legs and we sang stupid songs and talked to the owner, LOL. ADELINE. no la thats not his name, but he calls himself that!
there were a handful of sick jokes too, which took me some time to comprehend, although i'm VERY dark and twisted inside. =)

So Luke took a cab back to...Serangoon and Simon Jon & I shared one back.
So off it was to Holland V den Boon Lay cos Jon insisted on it, then to CCK.

sheesh, and i overslept the next day and missed service. EVEN THOUGH i had TWO alarm CLOCKS. i SNOOZED through all. =(

and yes, i'm in the process of recovery. overwhelming.